Radioactive Crumpets and Tea

lolsofunny:

Hysterical Blog!

(Source: blaggot)

(Source: bronned, via sherlocksimplywalksintomordor)

laughingisbetter:

noobjake:

Time goes by way too fast..

amyohconnor:

This Facebook status just gave me a brain aneurysm.

brocreate:

this just in: infamous ‘friendzone’ has been purchased by satan, to be added as the 10th circle of hell. when asked what sort of souls would be occupying this circle, the devil replied, “men’s rights activists.”

(via a-bitter-pearl)

boymilk:

i need job

hire me

(via intotheairwaves)

africans:

this kid lived behind me and everyone made fun of him because he was kind of slow because he had fetal alcohol syndrome anyway one day he was telling me that he was grounded but he didn’t care and i asked why and he said “because whenever my mom comes into my room i stop playing playstation and pick up my gameboy so she takes away my gameboy even though i really only play my playstation” and that’s when i knew he was a genius

(via intotheairwaves)

theelusivemuse:

When you’re having a shit day, grab your best leopard print tights, wear them as pants ‘cos they only should be ever be worn as pants. Get that thrifted sequinned top out, put on some music and climb on top of all the furniture that isn’t meant for standing on. Desks, sofas, dining tables, kitchen benches. Remember when you were a kid and pretended the floor was lava? Well, that. Make sure your hair is at 100% volume. I like to tip my head upside down, back comb and use baby powder for maximum effect. Air guitar is necessary and a hairbrush for singing. As is waving to the postman when he sees you through the window. Eat food how it isn’t supposed to be eaten, eat a fucking tomato like an apple. Drink your juice from a coffee cup with four straws. Peanut butter goes with everything. Rub glitter in your armpit hair. Make prank calls to local McDonalds stores, high five yourself for witty puns. Sit in a cupboard and pretend to be Harry Potter. Face the back and pretend Narnia is just out of reach, get naked and do a headstand, take a photo and stick it behind your clothes so next time you’ve run out of clothes because you never do the laundry, you see it and remember that cupboards are awesome. Make a fort out of blankets and dance inside it with a torch. Shake your head ‘til you’re dizzy then lie on the floor and thrust about like a worm. Then when mood is sufficiently improved, leave the house in the very same outfit and adopt a lip snarl like Billy Idol. Everyone stares at you because they just want to be you. If they laugh at you, stand in the sun and direct its light into their eyeballs with your mirror ball sequinned top, do the moon walk, steal some grapes, climb a tree. Fuck the world. Stay angry but dance, dance, dance. Or don’t dance. Do an anti dance. Sulk. Rip up a book that you’ve always hated. Get angrier, get happier. Give a box of shit to charity. Offer to clean their windows. In your best dancing outfit. Pull faces at other people’s children at traffic lights.  Hate everyone, hate yourself but remember that somewhere deep down, you’re pretty fucking awesome and sequinned tops make everything so much better.

(Source: deathinthesuburbs, via kriegspeil)

(Source: aradira, via julian-blackthorn)